The Big Question
by LovingMyth
Summary: "Haku, why did you tell me not to look back?" After wondering for so long Chirhiro finally asks, but the answer was not what she expected. "if you looked back…I would have called out to you, I would have told you stay, and you probably would have."


"Bye mom!" Chihiro yelled as she ran down the stairs, only to fall and end up in a heap at the bottom.

"Ahhhhh!" She cried, holding her head in pain.

"Chihiro…" He mother sighed, peaking her head out from the kitchen. "Be more careful, would you." Chihiro stopped for a moment and nodded to her mother. Her mother sighed again before going back to cooking. _Chihiro is always in such a happy and excited mood lately. _Her mother thought.

Chihiro had been upset for a great deal of time after the move, that was to be expected, but…there was something her mother just couldn't put her finger on. It seemed that overnight Chihiro had changed.

A thud sounded from the other room followed by Chihiro screaming out in another bout of pain.

Well…that part of her hadn't changed. But her mother couldn't help but see that strange glint in her daughter's eyes; she always appeared to be in such deep thought. It reminded her of how someone of age looked; always recalling a memory of the past. It was much too nostalgic for an eleven year old girl.

Chihiro, so unaware of her mother's inner thoughts called out that she would be home soon. Pulling on her shoes she ran out the door and down the big hill that her blue house sat on.

"Hi Chihiro!" A girl called, waving to the other.

"Hi!" Chihiro yelled out without stopping. She was simply not in the mood to make small talk with her friends right now…at least not these friends. Of course that didn't stop them from trying.

"Hey Chihiro!" Another girl called, grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to a stop.

Chihiro sighed, not too happy to have been stopped. "Hi Mizuki." Chihiro said as she fidgeted, willing that her friend would hurry up and realize that she wanted to leave.

"You want to hang out with us?" Mizuki asked, motioning to the group of people not too far away.

"Can't! Chihiro answered as she started off running. "I'm going to the river!"

The girl sighed and returned to the group. "She said she's going off to the river."

"Again?" A boy groaned. "She goes everyday!" The group nodded in agreement. Everyone was quite aware of Chihiro's obsession with the river. Earlier she had fought to restore it, it had taken about a year but she finally managed to do so.

As they all tuned to leave another girl in the group began mumbling. "I don't see what's so great about the Kohaku River anyway."

Luckily for the girl, Chihiro was not in earshot when she said that, otherwise she would have received quite an angry glare. One that each of them received every time they questioned the greatness of the Kohaku River.

Now at the bottom of the hill, Chihiro could hardly contain herself as a huge grin plastered itself onto her face.

The river wasn't too far away from there so she slowed to a walk, it wouldn't matter if she got there early anyway; it had to be at night. Even though she had slowed she reached the place before dark, although not much before; the sun was already setting.

Chihiro got on her belly; not caring if her shirt ended up muddy or grass stained. She leaned close to the river so she could see her face reflected in it. The clear blue water was almost still, moving with little speed.

The river was not as strong as it had been when she fell in all those years ago, but at the very least it was restored.

After nearly dozing off numerous times it had finally become dark, the moon now the cause of the river's shimmering. Then ever so slowly the water began to ripple, as if someone had thrown a small pebble into it.

Chihiro sat up quickly, looking at the place where the water's surface was disturbed, and sure enough in the place of the ripple was Haku's reflection.

Chihiro sat with a stiff face. She knew that she shouldn't say anything because it was very hard for Haku to do this and he needed absolute concentration.

Chihiro remembered the first time he had done this. She had been so excited that she jumped in the river, destroying the reflection. She had felt awful, unsure if she just ruined the only chance she had of seeing Haku again.

But she returned the night after and Haku appeared again, and this time she didn't jump in; she waited.

The river was smaller back then and so it affected Haku's strength; he could speak, however he could only appear as a reflection. But now…

"Chihiro." Haku whispered as he smiled at her, only now did she jump up to hug him. It had been awhile since he was only a reflection, for quite a while he'd been appearing as flesh.

"Haku!" She cried out, putting her head in the crook of his neck; his black hair falling against her like a curtain. She pulled back and looked at him, a small blush on her cheeks. She had a question she wanted to ask him and the answer was something she'd wanted to know for quite a while.

Feeling the blush spread she let go of Haku and rubbed her cheeks fiercely. He looked at her questioningly before a small smile spread across his lips.

He was about to ask her how her day had been when she interrupted him mid-breath.

"HAKU I NEED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION!" Chihiro shouted. Haku's smile fell a bit. The only time Chihiro really ever shouted was when she became nervous. He nodded, urging her to go on speaking.

She looked down, at the grounded and tugged on the end of her shirt, a quite obvious habit she had.

"Haku, why did you tell me not to look back?" She looked up at him to see that Haku was quite shocked by the question.

"Chihiro why do you-

"I want to know! Would I turn into dust, or maybe become a stink spirit…or maybe just like one of those statues! Would I turn into a pig like my parents or would I be stuck forever working for Yubaba?"

Haku looked out to the river, not answering Chihiro's question for a while. At last he turned to her and sighed. "No Chihiro, none of those things would have happened to you."

"Well then what would've happened to me?" Chihiro thought about it but she couldn't think of any other reason for Haku telling her not to look back.

"Because Chihiro" Haku looked at her, green and brown eyes clashing. "if you looked back…I would have called out to you, I would have told you stay, and you probably would have."

Chihiro gasped, that was the reason Haku didn't want her to look back. Chihiro looked away from him. "I thought it was because something terrible would happen. If I knew that was the reason I would have tried to go back and visit you guys. I thought for sure if I went back I would turn into a pig."

Haku grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "No Chihiro, you can't ever go back to the Spirit World, no matter what!" He dropped his hold on her. "Trust me Chihiro, being there forever…it is something terrible."

Chihiro could feel small tears forming in the corners of her eyes, but they were mostly from the shock. It had been a long time since she had seen Haku this serious. She wiped her eyes, stopping any tears that had a chance of escaping.

"But Haku…It wouldn't be so bad. I'd get to see Lin, Kamajii, Boh, Zeniiba, No-Face, and…I'd get to see you more. Even though I get to see you now it's only for a little bit."

"Chihiro…" Haku sighed. "To be with you more often would make me very happy but, it's not worth it for you to leave your world. You don't belong in the Spirit World, you belong here."

"Haku… Why can't I go back?"

"Chihiro I told you humans don-

"But I was there already, and I like it better there. Where I can be with people I love. Sure I'd miss my parents but…I think I'd miss you more Haku."

Haku looked over at Chihiro who had begun to cry.

"Why would you miss me more than your parents Chihiro?"

Just then Chihiro launched herself at Haku, wrapping her arms around her waist. "I love you Haku!" She cried into his shirt. "I don't ever want to be away from you."

Haku was stiff for a few moments before hugging Chihiro back.

"I love you too Chihiro, more than a spirit such as me should be able to. That's why you must stay here."

"No Haku." Chihiro pulled away, a look of utter seriousness tainting her tear streaked face. "I want to go back."

Haku wiped some of the tears that were still falling from Chihiro's eyes. "I guess if you really wanted to I couldn't stop you…" Haku was slightly tense at the realization.

Chihiro smiled at him. "Don't worry Haku." She placed her forehead against his. "This is best for me. I know it."

Haku closed his eyes and smiled. "Whatever makes you happy Chihiro, as long as we never part."


End file.
